Integrative Counsellor in Exeter and Online

Gestalt Therapy attends to how fixed patterns of behaviour show up in the present—in relationships with oneself, others, and the relationship between us. It is a holistic and somatic therapy, meaning I am not just interested in what you do, but in how you do it. We will pay attention to the process: how you move from a physical sensation to a thought to a behaviour, and how you hold your experiences in your body. I might ask, "What was it like for you when I said that?" or "What do you notice in your body as you recall that?", "What might that tension be saying in that situation?" Often, fixed patterns are a result of 'unfinished business'; we repeat behaviours or situations because we are trying to find some resolve without full awareness of what it is we are trying to resolve. So we never meet our goal, causing further issues and frustration. An example of this might be having made ourselves compliant and agreeable as a child in order to tame an unpredictable environment. While this was a creative response at the time, we may have become stuck in this behaviour, staying compliant over time can impact our sense of self and our relationships, by creating dependency or causing us to lose touch with our own voice. There are many ways we can come to a place where we can move on from this. Firstly; by bringing awareness to these cycles in the present and getting more in touch with what is driving this pattern, by gaining a different perspective on the original situation through dialogue, or through feeling our feelings about the situation, and through self compassion. Through this work, we open the door for a more authentic and flexible way of responding to life, we become unstuck and start to experiment with new ways of being.